When it Rains, It Pours on my Parade

A few months passed with no communication from my agent: a virtual career drought. I thought perhaps they lost my number, and felt okay about that. This week, already very busy with the part-time job I took that's actually beyond full-time, I booked three auditions. It's raining auditions!

I did well at the first audition, but felt the client wanted someone older-looking and more matronly than I am. Fine by me that I don't look like the mom of a teenager. I made a good connection with a casting group I'd not met previously.

The second audition of the week was booked for early in the morning. I'm not fond of mornings. I'm a total night-owl. My talent agent told me that the casting guy, who I like and think is reasonably nice, wouldn't say what the product for the commercial was, but that it was something to do with green energy, perhaps solar or wind power. Sure, I'll get up early on my day off from my other job to promote green energy! Imagine my surprise, no, my dismay, to arrive at the audition and discover that the product/service/energy option being pimped is coal. I spent two years living in West Virginia, and have actually toured a coal mine. I'm no fan of coal, and do not find it to be "green" in any way. My audition provided some cutting-room-floor fodder... accidentally on purpose. The fact that I sacrificed sleep to go to that waste-of-time upset me.

The third audition of the week was another commercial. I took an extra long lunch-break from my other job for the appointment. The commercial shoot sounds like it will be fun, if a bit sweaty in the summer outdoors. I'd love to book this, but am pretty sure they're looking for an actual family, rather than a random sampling of strangers who look like they could be related.

Anybody got an umbrella?

More of a Hobby

Most of the live/theater acting I do is either very well paid dinner mystery shows, very well paid team-building facilitation for corporations or not very well paid theater festivals. Occasionally the group I work with for the dinner mystery shows does performances that are open to the public at such... um, what's the opposite of prestigious, venues as Dave & Buster's or Spaghetti Warehouse. However, most shows are for private groups and are hosted in hotel ballrooms, historic bars, landmark restaurants, country clubs or even on a steam train.

In the past month, the group with which I work has had to cancel public shows due to lack of reservations and lack of interest. I'm not paid for the time I spent studying those two different scripts. Naturally, I'm not paid for shows not performed.

My income continues to fall. This acting thing continues to be less of a profession and more of an expensive hobby.

Where's some mailbox money (also known as "use of image" checks that arrive by mail) when I need it?

Act Naturally

The good news: I'm getting much more comfortable with commercial auditions, as long as I'm not told to give a big grin and hold it for no reason. I'm proud of my auditions lately.

The even better news: I've had a few call-backs.

Now the bad news: But I haven't booked a commercial since August.

The count-my-blessings: I've had lots of paying theater and game facilitator work over the past two months. Hooray for paychecks!

Pay to Play

I'm registered with four casting websites, because different casting agents like to use different sites. Each week I get emails from at least three of the four websites prompting me to activate the billing information and pay to have my information be more visible to clients of casting agents. My information is already visible to casting people at no charge to me. So, I really don't feel like paying to have my information more visible to their clients.

My talent agency wants $100 a year* to post my name, photo and a link to my acting résumé on the agency website. (This fee in addition to the 15% - 30% cut of each paycheck I earn from their bookings. They work for their cut of those checks, and I don't begrudge them that money.) *Please note that this fee is no guaranty of work.

This week I received an email directly from a casting director urging me (and countless other undisclosed recipients) to go to one of the casting websites to submit myself for a job. (I'm actually booked for one of the days the shoot would require, but thought I'd submit in the case that I could just work the other days.) Upon following the website link to submit myself for the job, I learned that I must either pay a monthly fee of $30* for unlimited submissions or a one-time fee of $5.00* per job submission. *Please note that this fee is no guaranty of work.

One of the casting websites sends out a monthly newsletter. A few months ago a column in the newsletter opined that it is unprofessional to complain about the expense of acting photos, job submissions and website fees. Of course one of the casting websites that wants $30 of my money each month would opine that I should pay them and not complain. I, on the other hand, opine that it is predatory to charge people to even apply to possibly audition for a job.

I'll just keep using the free features of these websites, thanks. And if the casting agent is professional, they won't make me pay to even submit myself for a job, because *please note that this fee is no guaranty of work.

I'd Like to Thank...

My talented husband designed a website for E! online to track tweets with the Oscars hashtag (#oscars). I'm so proud of him. I had a physical sensation of surprise and happiness in my tummy when I saw his very cool website in action for the first time, followed almost instantly by a melancholy realization that my husband's accomplishment will be the closest I ever come to the Oscars.

PIC: Play It Cool

It's oh-so-tempting to brag to all your friends, acquaintances and frenemies about getting to work on the set of a movie or television show. What happens when your line gets cut? What happens when your scene gets cut? What happens when the movie never gets picked up for distribution or television airtime? What happens when the television show gets cancelled before your episode airs? In my personal experience with all of the aforementioned situations, I tried to play it cool - with varying degrees of success.

My advice to all struggling actors is to play it cool. Sure, tell people in humble terms that you got to work on such-and-such set. Tell them how fun it was or wasn't. Go ahead and mention anyone famous you may have met, but don't make it sound like you're suddenly BFFs. Conversely, don't disparage the famous people you met. If the famous person/people behaved in a less-than-humanitarian manner, resist the urge to dish, and acknowledge that we all have bad days. Do NOT under any circumstances overstate your role in any project. If you worked as an extra, admit it graciously. If you have a line (or three), might I suggest the following phrase, "I may have a line (or three) in the project, but you never know until you see it. I'm not sure what will happen in editing." If that movie you were so excited to work on ends up being too silly for even the most melodramatic movie-of-the-week, and never shows anywhere, have a little giggle about it with your friends. Beat them to the punchline. Be thankful for the experience.

When the HBO movie on which you worked as an extra wins lots of Emmy Awards and a Golden Globe, be proud that you worked on the project, met some of the stars and got to go to the premiere. However, be ready for acquaintances to remark that they couldn't pick you out of the crowd. (Those acquaintances probably don't like their jobs and/or are stuck in a bad relationship.) Resist the urge to rattle off all the names of all the famous people you've met, worked with, eavesdropped on, shaken hands with, had friendly conversations with or held doors open for on set. Play it cool.

A Real Paycheck

About the time I start thinking I want a real job with a predictable work schedule and a steady income, the acting work and acting paychecks start rolling in again. I have several dinner theatre shows booked this month. Each performance generates nice checks. I also got my first taste of "mailbox money" in the form of a "use of image" check for that national SAG commercial I did back in August. Not only was I paid very well for the long day of shooting the commercial in which I appear in the background as a blurry shadow, but I also get quarterly checks for as long as the commercial runs. A girl could get used to cashing "use of image" checks!

Despite the recent flurry of paychecks, I still long for a more predictable schedule with more steady work. I'd have to move to L.A. to have a chance of fulfilling my ultimate dream of being a sitcom mom or the recurring wacky aunt character on a long-running show. Goodness knows it won't happen in my current city. (I did work as an extra on a TV show this fall in my city, but the show was cancelled after the second episode aired.)

My contract with my talent agent comes up for renewal in six months. I've had many commercial auditions resulting in a handful of callbacks, but no real work resulted from these auditions. When I did the SAG commercial, I didn't audition. The casting person simply chose my photo from my talent agency's website after my agent confirmed that I was available for the shoot. I knew that making it as an actress would be difficult, but I didn't realize how much emphasis would be placed on commercial work. I'm an actress; not a skinny, blond spokesmodel. I honestly won't be sad if my agent chooses not to renew my contract. I'll still do theatre work with or without an agent. Although the theatrical performances don't pay as well as the SAG commercial, I have more fun doing them, get to work with a cohesive group of actors consistently and do some actual acting versus walking around the background and/or smiling until my face contorts into muscle spasms.