Weirdest. Request. Ever.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the absolute weirdest request ever, but certainly the weirdest one I've heard at an audition. I got a notification for another audition this week. This audition would be in town (cool) with no lines to memorize (great), but I had to wear business attire (not my fave, but okay). So I put on my stockings and my skirt suit with jacket in 97 degree weather and made the short journey to the audition. This one was with a casting guy I like pretty well. He's never made me smile until my face contorted with muscle spasms. I've never left an audition with him wanting to cry.

As he's leading me into the audition room, he asks if I've done any stunt work. Nope. He asks if I ever ride horses. It's been a while, but yes. He asks if I'd be comfortable riding a mechanical bull. Um... do you mean today... in my skirt suit with jacket and stockings? Spoiler alert: I did not have to ride the mechanical bull at the audition. Phew! What a relief! However, I might have to ride one if cast. Then the casting guy instructed me to say on my audition tape that I would only ride the mechanical bull if there was proper padding on the ground and if the stunt was choreographed and supervised for safety. Gulp! So I said that on my audition tape. The casting guy was looking out for my well-being, kind of. I knew there was a reason I liked him, kind of.

It's been thirty-six hours and no word. I probably don't have to worry my pretty little head about getting on the bull. The more I think about it though, the more fun it sounds, kind of.

But It's with Darrell!

I don't shop at that-big-chain-store-that-shall-not-be-named. In general, I don't like the concept of big-box stores, and hate the experience of shopping in them even more. I try to keep my sales tax money and my purchasing at local businesses when I can. When I can't find items locally, I buy online and have my purchases conveniently delivered to my porch.

Imagine my chagrin when I was asked, with only sixteen hours notice, to drive three hours each way to a different city to be audition for that-big-chain-store-that-shall-not-be-named commercial. My initial reaction was to do like Nancy Reagan urged, and just say no. Then I read the script and saw that the commercial will be with Darrell, the current commercial spokesman for that-big-chain-store-that-shall-not-be-named. I love that guy. He exudes charm and humor. He nails the delivery. He makes me turn the sound back on during his commercials and actually watch.

I rearranged my schedule, memorized the commercial script, and drove three hours each way (uphill both ways) for that audition. The casting lady for this audition, who just happens to be my favorite casting lady, said I did a good job, but it's been over forty-eight hours with no news. And you remember that no news (all together now) is bad news for professional actors.

Oh well. I won't get to meet Darrell, but I also won't endorse a place I don't want to endorse.

Disclaimer: If by some miracle, I do land the commercial, I'll be deleting this blog post faster than ice cream melts on a hot day in Texas.

What am I Doing?

First, the good news: I got paid for acting in a dinner mystery show Friday. The audience seemed to enjoy it. I had fun. I also got some free food. That was nice.

I had an audition last week for some actual acting in a film; not a commercial! The character for which I auditioned dies early in the script, but I gave that audition my best. I remembered all the lines, in the correct order even! The casting people only made me do one take, and said "great job!" with sincere smiles. The film's budget is low, but is SAG scale!

Now, the bad news: I have not heard a peep from either my agent or the casting people about the movie. Remember that in the professional actor's life, no news is BAD news. Dadgummit!

What do I think I'm doing trying to be a professional actress? Maybe I'll just go back to being an "extra". There's a much lower barrier to "extra" work, and it usually pays, unlike all of these fruitless auditions I've been going on for nearly a year.

I have a hopeful fear that my agency will drop me soon. Hopeful because if they drop me, I won't have to go on any more of these painful, high-pressure auditions. Fear because I don't want to be dropped. It's like getting fired or dumped.