Opportunists Knock Often

I hate, hate, hate it when I reveal to people (actors and non-actors alike) that I get paid to perform in dinner theater shows, and their first response is to tell me they want a piece of the action.

The conversation goes like this for actors:

Actor-acquaintance: You get paid for the dinner theater?

Me: Yes. Dinner theater shows can be fun, but the audiences are not typically your usual theater patrons. They can sometimes be a tough crowd, and it takes a lot of energy to keep their attention. Plus it's not high-art. So I probably wouldn't do these shows for free.

Actor-acquaintance: I'd love to get paid for theater work. When are the next auditions?

Me: We already have a close-knit group of performers involved. The last time we cast a new actor was when one of our longtime actors died. But I'll totally pass along your photo and résumé to the director. Maybe someone else from my close-knit group will kick the bucket in an untimely manner.

The conversation goes like this for non-actors:

Non-actor-acquaintance: You get paid for those skits?

Me: Yes. It's not volunteer work. I don't do it for my health.

Non-actor-acquaintance: I was a tree in my third-grade class school play. I could make some extra money doing skits.

Me: That sounds great. I'll just need your 8x10 actor photos and your acting résumé to pass along to the director for the next round of auditions. You have monologues ready, right? Oh, and who is your talent agent?



I think I've made my point.